Pre-departure emotions

I have never liked to express my feelings. And I am not sure if I like to do it now but there comes the time when you realise that you do not have to keep everything for you. So I am giving you my story away.

This summer I went on a vacation to Sicily with my dearest mother and I must say that we enjoyed ourselves very much! The thing I really loved is that we could actually speak like friends about all the stuff that I generally feel uncomfortable to speak with my parents about. And my mom understood me. We discussed my future and deep topics about life and how harsh it is nowadays and how overcoming problems is important. We had a very enjoyable time together. And then we returned back home. In the hall there were my luggage waiting for me and it felt like having a ghost in the house.

I had a few days left to my departure. In two days I had all my things packed and me and my mother sat at the table and looked at the luggage in an odd way. It was very emotional. And then we started to speak again and I had a perfect chance to tell her how grateful I am for the opportunity she and my father gave me and that it is going to be the best period of my life. And I did use the chance. All of a sudden we both started crying. It was not a sad cry. It was a grateful cry. And a cry full of love. I love my mom. And I believe it must be very hard for her especially because I am the youngest son of hers that is leaving the house and she will stay on her own. No more obligations.

After this powerful experience I am still afraid of telling what I feel and I don’t feel super comfortable telling what I do actually feel but finally I understand that there is and will be always someone who can and wants to help you and support you and give you the love that you need. I am glad for that. I came to Chichester to study A levels at Chichester College and I know that I have a great opportunity to educate myself. And I know that I am going to perform well not only because I want to but also because I know that there is someone outside the frame I live in who gave in it’s life for me. And I feel like I have a responsibility to finish my studies successfully.

So guys, whoever is reading this little diary/blog kind of thing, remember that you can do it. All you need is your passion and a fresh optimistic view. If ‘they’ could do it, then you can as well. But don’t forget that it won’t come to you itself, you need to go for it. That is an advice from a stranger and it is completely up to you if you want to stay an ignorant or to get involved. Believe me, being involved is much more fun. Wish me good luck and take care!

“Just because you miss someone doesn’t mean you need them back in your life. Sometimes missing is just a part of moving on.” – Anonymous